Radio at 4am!

It was 4am in the morning and I was still wide awake for some reason... Been thinking of how to put myself to sleep. Its been a while since I stopped being an insomniac. Anyways I thought of listening to some music thinking it might soothe my brains and put me to sleep. So I turned on the radio and was surfing through the FM channels. You wont believe the amazing songs they play on the Radio Stations at such an hour. I bet you wont hear those numbers all day long on the very same stations. The one that caught my ears was Zara Zara from the Bollywood flick Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein (2001)

Here's the video of the song so that you know why its special :)






What did catch my attention was the second antara which goes like this...

Tadpaaye mujhe teri sabhi baatein
Ek baar ae deewane jhootha hi sahi pyaar to kar
Main bhooli nahin haseen mulaaqaatein
Bechain karke mujhko mujhse yun na pher nazar
Roothega na mujhse, mere saathiya yeh vaada kar
Tere bina mushkil hai jeena mera mere dilbar

For those who don't understand Hindi, roughly translated it means,

Everything you say makes me pine;
Crazy guy, false or true, just love me once!
I haven't forgotten our beautiful meetings.
Having made me restless, don't avert your gaze like that.
Promise me, my companion, you won't quarrel with me.
Without you, living would be impossible, my love.

Yeah I know it sounds all romantic, achy, maybe also clingy (which m afraid of)...
Anyways don't go looking for deeper meanings. It's just a song in the end. So listen to it and enjoy the music :)

Dreams

They say 'if you love someone, set them free. If they come back they are yours. If they don’t, they were never yours...' Who ever made this phrase popular were fooling around with love.

I can tell you this is not the right test for love! Sometimes they do come back but still don’t belong to you. Have you ever thought what that would mean? Ever wondered why they are doing this to you? Kill you not once but again n again…

You think it’s easy to let them go, you try to be brave but you know deep inside that its all just fake feelings you are trying to portray. You think you can get through the pain, the heartache, that you can forget them and move on and at that very moment you see them standing in front of you. You forget all the pretense of the bravery you have been putting up because u feel that you will never have to go through it now but the very next day they are set to leave you again and you realize how stupid you were to believe in them and all your dreams. Dreams, that’s what they were and will always be. And just when you try to calm yourself they come back to leave again…

Do you know why this happens to you? If you have the answer please be kind enough to tell me too.

You don’t deserve me.

One of the most painful things in life is losing what u fear losing the most, isn’t it? Ever loved and lost? You may understand what I’m trying to convey. This one is my fourth poem and possibly the last one from me.

You don’t deserve me.

You deserve to hold an umbrella
When the sky decides to pour,
As I get drenched for hours in the rain,
Maybe three, maybe four.

The way you had me drowning
In the aura of your charm,
All I wanted to do was
Run to you and grab hold of your arm.

Never wanted to let you go,
Didn’t wanna go through this pain,
Miss those cozy arms around me
In this freezing rain.

All I ever wanted
Was to see your smiling face,
You should stay away from me,
I’m such a big disgrace.

Those dreams, those moments
Those feelings, those desires,
Now I know weren’t meant for me,
Time to chuck them into the fire.

I wish all the happiness in this world
Is created to kiss you,
I deserve to stay in the dark
And continue to miss you.

I’m trying hard to forget,
Trying not to think,
But the harder I try,
The deeper I sink.

I’m sorry I hurt you so bad,
Turned into reality that used to be your fears,
No matter what I do or say now,
I know I deserve these tears.

I’ve touched love, so pure
It used to make me high
Never thought I’d have to let it go,
Would have to say good-bye.

Don’t wanna let you go yet,
But the wrongs I can’t deny,
Hurts too much to listen to your voice,
So I sit by my window and cry.

You have the right to refuse,
Even if I say please,
Even if I beg you not to,
You have the right to leave.

You deserve true love,
One that lasts forever,
All I can do is assure you,
I’ll cross your path never.

I pray they hold your hand forever,
Walk along with you,
And I’ll be the star that falls
To make your dearest wish come true.

-Chandra Sen

Don’t go tonight.

You read the first one; you read the second one, now its time to share with you my third poem. It’s strange what 15 minutes can do to you when you know they will be leaving (read: going offline) you after 15 minutes. Believe it or not but that’s what made me write this one.

Don’t go tonight.

Starry sky, the moon shining so bright,

Love this feeling, bathing in the moon’s light,

Stars, the moon shining upon me, so pure and white,

And the wind kissing my cheeks, ever so slight,

While the world’s sleeping, only my dreams are in flight,

Feel like I’m on top of the world, afraid of the height,

Never will be an evening so beautiful, or there might,

But I know this is the moment, ‘coz it feels so right,

And all I do is miss u, waiting for you to be in sight,

Just the thought of being alone, oh! What a fright!

Don’t like this distance anymore, save me from this plight,

I need you to protect me, my shining armor clad knight,

You know you are my sunshine, you are my delight,

It’s only in your arms, where I feel alright,

I want you to hug me, and keep holding me tight,

Love me forever, don’t leave me and go tonight.

-Chandra Sen.

Thinking of you

You read my first poem and you survived, which is evident from the fact that you have managed to reach upto this post and which means I’m not half bad at this :-) . So to test your patience, here’s another one…

Thinking of you

The sun smiles at me, wishes me a day brand new,
But I don’t even look at him, 'coz I’m just thinking of you.

A plate of sandwich in my hand n my mom yelling at me to chew,
Her words don’t even reach me 'coz I’m just thinking of you

Sick of the crowded trains, wonder when I’ll be through…
But they don’t bother me as much 'coz I’m just thinking of you.

Back at work, handling assignments, more or few,
I seem too cool about it 'coz I’m still thinking of you.

Waiting for the sun to set, so that I’ll be home soon,
Longing to talk to you 'coz I’m still thinking of you.

I spend long hours talking yet they seem to be so few
Don’t wanna hang up the phone 'coz I’m still thinking of you.

You seem like a distant dream, and dreams don’t come true,
I wish I could have u for real 'coz I’m still thinking of you.

The days feel so empty n the nights are so damn blue,
I cry over this distance as I keep thinking of you.

-Chandra Sen.

I miss you

So far if you have read my blog you know how good or bad I am at writing prose. Thanks to someone’s who forced me to do this today will be the first time you get to witness my poetic talents too. I never knew I could rhyme words and make sense but let’s see how you like my first ever try at the job. Please be honest and be generous with a beginner and someone who’s still worse than an amateur. Anyways the most important point is that I'm happy with it.

I'm calling this poem "I miss you"
So here it goes...


I’m lying in my bed,
I’m staring at the ceiling,
So many thoughts...
What is this I’m feeling?

I keep on staring,
But there’s nothing I see.
Is this really love
Or is it just me?

I wish I could see u,
Feel u next to me,
But, afraid I am.
Will there ever be a 'WE'?

All I have is just today,
And there maybe no tomorrow,
But I’m ready to take the risk,
I’m ready to face the sorrow.

All I need right now
Is to be with you
I really, really miss you
And I know that's true.

It’s not easy to walk together,
Together we can figure how.
Let’s forget what's uncertain,
Will u be mine for now?

-Chandra Sen.

Right or Wrong?

I’m sure, not once but many a times in your life you must have faced a situation where you didn’t know whether to do something or not. It’s more or less like your hearts begging you to go ahead but your brain/conscience is not giving you the green signal. All your heart cares about is the possible moment of happiness but your over-smart brain just doesn’t want you to be happy and keeps reasoning with you that it would be unacceptable to the anyways useless society and its age-old morals. Don’t worry. It’s probably just jealous of your heart. After all it’s the brain whose primary job is to think but you want to listen to your heart who always keeps messing with your brain.

So now what do you do in this situation? Who do you listen to? Listen to your brain, ‘coz, after all, it’s always right and will always keep troubles at bay? But your heart keeps behaving like a child, “I want chocolates, I want chocolates, I want chocolates…” that’s all it says and you know it wont stop till it gets the chocolates and if you don’t give the chocolates to it, its going to cry n make you feel sad about it.

So what should you do? Make the kid happy or listen to the wise guy?

I’m thinking of making the kid happy by giving it what it wants. Unless I take risks I won’t have any gains. Just like Bryan Uncle once said, “Well, it maybe wrong but baby, it sure feels right.” So be it. What’s the point of having principles that keep you away from what makes you happy? Even if it’s just momentary. I’m just going to ask the wise guy to muster courage and face the consequences when they arise. After all he’s the intelligent one and not the kid.

Besides you know what they say. “When you don’t know whether to do something or something or not, JUST DO IT (yeah, Nike got something right). When you get old and look back at your life, you wont regret the things you have done as much as the things you never did”