My first vote!

No matter what holidays the State Government declares some of us less fortunate ones have to work even on the day when the rest of the city is enjoying a day off in order to do their part during the elections. This is why working for a CA firm is not fun... Just to clarify on my boss’s part it’s not his fault either. Back to blaming the Central Government-quarterly returns, the corporate clients who remember to file their returns only on the last date and while we're still playing the blame game, how can I miss out on the Institute of Chartered Accountants of India for poor passing percentages such that every article in my firm is on study leave, reappearing for the papers, which seriously brings down the number of people actually working in my firm. Besides being a senior you can have no escape. And so there I was destined to go back to work once I’m done with casting my vote and go home only once the work is done.

I reached my polling centre at around 11am and was surprised to see the queue extending beyond my expectations. If I wanted to enjoy the day off by leaving early, getting in the queue wasn't going to help. Besides I don't even live in the ward I was voting for. God alone knows who deserves to be voted for. Which most of the times is neither.

Thus, I put my evil mind to work. I remembered the Article 49-O of the Constitution of India doing the usual rounds of forwarded emails. For those who have forgotten about it, this Article (and not Section) gives one the right to vote for neither of the persons on the list of candidates. I had a feeling this was going to be my window of escape. Little did Mr. Ambedkar know that years after he drafted the Constitution there'll be one civilian would use it to wrap up her right to vote (more like a duty towards the country now-a-days) all the time justifying herself since she didn't know anything about any of the candidates, it would be only fair that she vote for none of them. So let’s see if they'd let me jump the queue and be done quickly.

What followed was surprising. I approached the Polling Booth Assistant’s desk. Told him about my intentions. The man was all confused. The 1st thing he enquires about if I was a freaking journalist. When I said no he thought to himself I must be just trying to hide my identity. He asked for some ID. The one day I decide to take some “panga” I forget to carry any ID except for my railway pass! No Voter ID issued but thankfully my name was on the list of people registered to vote. Never had he heard of this Article 49-O nor had he ever heard of anyone visiting the poll booth to vote for nobody… “Why come down here if you don’t want to vote is what they kept asking?” That’s when I realised that none of the people responsible for the arrangements had any idea what the law says. Nothing different from the ignorant people standing there to vote and I particularly felt bad for the elderly. Having no intensions of being part of the mess I might be about to create he conveniently directed me to the Zonal Polling Officer.

I expected to meet an old chap like any other government official but to my surprise this guy looked not much older than me. To get an edge I tried to speak in a bit of a legal lingo that I wanted to exercise the rights granted to me under the Article 49-O of the Constitution of India. He didn’t know what the Article provides so I explained in simple words. At least he understood I wasn’t here to play a prank. I got to say the guy didn’t try to make it any harder for me. He simply took me to the right hall, told the guys there what special procedure to follow in my case in very clear terms. I was impressed. I tried to get back in the queue to which he said no need just get in between. Oh! Was I loving this special treatment! And mission accomplished. Didn’t even have to waste time standing in the long queue.

But as I mentioned before, all the rest of the officials had no clue what the Article 49-O says and they think even though a person who can actually quote the Article number being an ordinary citizen could not know more about elections than they do. This is exactly why I had done my homework before entering the polling booth. So in spite of clear instructions they had to be retold what they were supposed to do by the journalist in disguise of an ordinary citizen. Someone who comes to vote but doesn’t vote for any one, while the rest of the people in the queue just keep on staring at who the hell is this girl cutting in between the queue while they have to keep waiting in line. At least I got mine. By the way all this took nothing more than 5 minutes. And I even got to call myself a responsible citizen :P All in all quite an experience for a first timer.

Just another day... or is it?

Busy day at work, gallons of stress and your petite little brain wants a big break. Sounds familiar? Yes that pretty much describes my status at 8pm everyday.

Worried about what’s gonna happen tomorrow if I don’t stay up and complete the report before the client meeting tomorrow, there I was, in a Virar bound from Bandra. Cozily seated on a window seat (only the ones who commute to work everyday by train can understand the achievement getting a window seat is K), beside a lady with a cute little daughter who wanted to have everything being vended in the compartment (Yes, this happens in Mumbai. From snacks to cosmetics, to books, to clothes, you’ll find anything you need while you travel. Great way to save time though…), merrily reading the latest Dan Brown, The Lost Symbol (please forgive me for supporting piracy Mr. Brown), on my new Windows Mobile (which was the best I could get after I lost my 3 months old express music phone, a Birthday gift from my sweetheart, which surely must have disappointed him… I’m still sorry about the loss baby L), little did I know that God had some other plans for the evening when he kept my boss busy in discussions while I kept getting late for home & ended up taking the train I usually don’t.

So it happened when I was somewhere around Chapter 45 that this lady with the cute kid almost faints off her seat. Now I being the lame person I am, had little clue about first aid or whatever is required to be done that moment (wonder why they don’t teach us that in school?) All I could do was stand up and offer her the seat so she could lie down, which somehow got misunderstood by the kid!

Now I gottta say, this is the 2^nd time in my life that I have been glad to travel in a ladies compartment. Some of these women were actually generous enough to spare some water, cadbury gems and things like that for the ill lady which didn’t go well with the kid ‘coz no one was giving her any candy.

I was hoping desperately that she’d recover ASAP but God knew it wouldn’t be worth this blogpost and so her condition kept getting only worse. Figured I should inform her family. I called her husband at work as she barely mumbled out his number, only to be greeted with a yell “Jaldi bolo!!” which I did.

Anyways since she stayed at the same suburb as I did, I figured, I’d help the lady get home with the kid and her baggage intact. No one else was ready to help as it seemed. And this is where I hate the women in the same ladies compartment who were distributing sweets a little while back. Stone-hearted snobs!

So I somehow managed to get her off the train. Thought I’d get her something sweet to sip on to get her blood pressure back on track. Now here’s what the Railway Minister forgot to add to her budget. A snacks counter on the platform. The only counter at the station was all the way on the other platform at the other end of the station (are the people who want me to vote for them at the elections next week listening?!!) & climbing the footbridge and getting a juice quickly with a heavy laptop bag on my back, at a time when my own blood pressure wasn’t at its peak, wasn’t going to be an easy task, now was it? All I thought was lemme try my best & I’m sure God would pay be back the very next day at the meeting when I don’t complete the damn report.

The best I could get was a chilled bottle of a mango drink. Thankfully she had enough strength to have some of it, which slowly got her to stand up again on her foot with some support from me and climb the same huge over-bridge to get to the road with little breaks after every 37th step. All she kept repeating was her place is too close to the station & she could walk it up. Yeah right!

At this point, guess who pops up in my head? My dear sweet Mom. If I were so ill she’d never make me walk till home even if it were 100 feet away. So being the sweet person I can be once in a while, I did the same for this woman. Caught hold of the closest autowala outside the station and got him to drop us off at the other end of the block. At this point I’d like to thank God for sending this other lady to our rescue.

Got to her building only to realize that she lived on the top floor of a building with no elevators & no neighbours. The mangola must have been a good choice ‘coz she managed to climb up to the top floor and get to the couch.

I felt more relived than her to know we made it. For once helped someone greatly in need. Felt like a better person. Thanked God. Stood up to leave when.. whoa!!.. felt my own knees wobble under my weight. Had to sit down again , worried about all the people who would be trying to reach me at 10pm on my bettery-starved-switched-off-phone.

Finally gave her my number so she can thank me in leisure when she’s better & came back home.

I’m writing this post right now still worried about my unfinished report. Now here’s where I’m hoping for God’s grace & a payback for helping out a total stranger. I know you’re thinking I’m such a meano, expecting favours in return for helping someone, but you see CA’s are taught not to invest where the Return on Investment is 0 or negative in this case. This should give you an idea why all CA’s are “kanjus”! :P

Recession hit stars

Friend: I saw a shooting star today...
Me: WoW!

What did u wish for?

Friend: Kuch samajh hi nahi aya ekdum se kya mangu

5-10 cheezein mang li

:P

Me: Ek akele star pe itna performance pressure! Recession yahaan bhi!

The consequences continue...

Ever since I cleared my CA Final, the one thing that everyone asks me is when am I getting married. Like that’s all that there is left in my life. Slog all your life, clear highly competitive professional exams nicely, then get married and have kids and then live off your husband. When the wannabe in-laws ask you, “beta, how far have you studied?” you’ll at least be able to list higher qualifications than their petite son. So here’s a boost to your inflated ego, you are way out of the league for most guys out there. Isn’t that something to be proud of now?

Marriage is an 8 letter word (and I don’t really mean it’s spelled as b-u-l-l-s-h-i-t, you jerk!) it actually is! Go back to the word and count the number of alphabets. Anyways, I’m not here to take English lessons but hoping that there would be someone who identifies with me on the following…

The whole procedure is so overwhelming and treacherous. If it’s arranged like my cousin’s, you’ll drive the poor parents nuts while you simply enjoy the teas and lunches with your potential significant others.

…And if its love, right from the day one when you meet them and fall in love till the day you actually tie the knot, is a risky business. First you notice all the good stuff only, coz after all love is blind, partially, and doesn’t like to wear contacts or glasses. Then you love them so much that you’d do anything to make them happy. And then there are the unwanted characters in the story who try to bring a twist in the tale. This can be anybody from your next door uncle to your special someone’s next door aunty (including the aunties-and-uncles-in-law)… nosy people. They all deserve to be cursed like Pinocchio.

Then there is the state of commitment where the love has gained sight in one eye after a laser operation (ok, now don’t grab my neck for non fruitfulness of the treatments I’m suggesting here, in case you’re blind, I’m not an ophthalmologist.) So now you can see things a little clearer and things are still good till you are handed over a To-do list and each item on it is going to take you months of learning. Now you start questioning Bobby (apni innocent si Dimple, from the movie Bobby, yaar) who told you, “pyaar me sauda nahi…” if she was kidding you. The silly girl knows nothing about real love!

Now you feel like it’s a scheme followed by a tiny asterisk with a small note attached “terms and conditions apply.” You’re probably okay with this hidden clause because, admit it, you’re still a little sightless. But if you have an ego the size of a dinosaur egg, theses terms and conditions will be fulfilled as long as they are taken with a pinch of love. Trouble is not everyone is good at negotiations :(

But I guess in the end marriage is still an 8 letter word which is spelled as b-l-i-s-s-f-u-l :) Just keep the extras from playing the match if they have no team-spirit.

Life at the TOP! sigh!

People have been asking me to update my blog… believe me I wanted to do the same but was too afraid I‘d end up boring you with my boring life. So I had decided to keep mum till I had something interesting to share with you all. But then again its too hard to deny my fans of what they want :P

My days have been so damn busy after passing CA. Once u pass everyone’s perception towards you changes instantly. Till you don’t pass and someone asks you a question, it’s acceptable if you say I’m just a CA Final student, I don’t know the solution. But the day you become CA they all expect you to know everything. Like passing gives you super human brain cells that can store 1000TB of data and the entire 1000TB must always be at the tip of your tongue. Unfair, isn’t it?

And then if you’re still an article like me with more than 6 months of articleship pending, boy, are you going to be in a sorry state! Ever since January I haven’t had a single holiday except for a couple of Sundays in a month and no bank holidays or anything. And I’m expected to deliver quality working 6 days a week for 12 hours each day! Do I look like I have a metallic body and a face as glowing as an LCD monitor? Even if you say yes, I’m still not a computer.

I think I’m grumbling a little too much so let me show you the bright side of being on the greener side… I have a qualification that makes people who are even older than me look at me with respect and I actually get to bully them around (Sshhhh! Don’t mention to my boss though that I do this to our clients ;) ) and I also get my own laptop (the wreck of a personal computer at my place is worth tossing in to the garbage bin) and I get to write blog posts when my clients forget to print up the documents I’m there to pick up (Don’t mention this to my boss either :P ) and the best of all my cousins look up to me and my parents are proud of me forever and so are my grandparents, uncles aunts, grand uncles, grandaunts, pets, neighbours, neighbour’s pets, the local stray dogs and cats, the cockroaches in the kitchen… you get the picture right? I had to save myself before the wedding proposals started flooding in and so, I did. I now get to be with the guy picked by me and not by my parents without anybody questioning the choice. Life’s all set, even though it feels like a little too soon. But then isn’t it an achievement to get everything you want at an early age?

Journey to the TOP of the Earth – Part 2

Day before the result. Too nervous to speak or do anything else. Running out of ways to stop thinking about the possible doom awaiting me and hoping against hope it will turn out to be Dhoom and not Doom. Spent the whole afternoon watching the movie Lakshya. It’s a good movie as far as the growing up of Hrithik’s character is concerned, all the while bargaining with God to make me a CA so even I can feel like a mature kid. If He thinks I don’t deserve it, then at least grant me one group, any one, just one. I just didn’t have the courage to do it all over again. I’d never have the same tempo again. One movie wasn’t enough. Went down to the neighborhood DVD parlour, got a 6 in 1 DVD, watching as many movies as I can, doing everything I won’t be able to from the very next day… if God didn’t grant me this wish…

I had to keep myself occupied so that I don’t go nuts thinking about what’s gonna be my fate the next day so I saw all the 6 movies back to back. Of course, feeding myself felt exactly like the opposite of a basic necessity for survival. The nervousness made food seem nauseating. Sleep was a privilege I couldn’t quite enjoy. Don’t know when and how I managed to fall asleep while waiting for the climax after a few hours. I mean mine, not the movies’

“God, please don’t make me cry, I’m such a sweet little creation of yours, I think giving the exam itself was a test in itself. Please give me positive results. I can’t handle a failure. You made me, you know that about me. Please, please, please….”

As usual did the 1st thing I do after I half-open my eyes in the morning, even before I put the toothbrush in my mouth, turn on the computer. I try chatting with a friend. Still can’t get the tension out of my mind. A few minutes were how far my fate was. And then the friend said the result’s out online. I still remember going numb at the drop of the “R” word as though it was the end of the world. Don’t think I’ve ever been this scared of anything. Took me a few seconds to get over the numbness and open the website.

Too afraid to look at the monitor as the marksheet downloaded. Opened my eyes. Group 1 – looked at the bottom of the screen, “PASS”. “Thank you so much God for granting me at least one group” :) Scrolled further down… Group 2 – looked at the bottom of the page “PASS” Suddenly something went wrong in my head like an unexpected output. I redo the same thing. Check again. Group 1- PASS, Group 2-PASS. I have passed both the groups. Scroll back to the top of the page and check the name on the marksheet. It certainly reads Chandra Sen. So m not looking at anybody else’s marsheet. I have passed CA Final. “OH MY GOD!” “I’m a CA!” Couldn’t believe I’d got everything I have ever wanted. THE feather in my cap. “THANK YOU so so so so so much GOD! Cant really thank you enough for answering my prayers, for giving me everything I could ever ask for”

5 seconds later I realize it’s time to come out of shock and celebrate. I screamed out in my squeaky voice, “MA!” Mom, who was cooking in the kitchen came in running after my scream, thought I suffered an electric shock from the computer. I barely got the words out “I’ve PASSED!” I jumped to the phone to call up every family I could reach, no matter how distant and which state or country. This was the best thing to ever happen to me. Spent an hour simply jumping all over the house, dancing and prancing like a monkey, with the phone stuck to my ears, talking to everyone I could think of. Didn’t know what to do, how to show how happy I was inside… too much to express and just a pair of eyes and a small mouth! This is what being on top of the world feels like :) Have you ever felt it? If yes, I’d like to know the reason behind it.

The Vacation.

Once my exams are over you cant possible expect me to sit idle at home or get right back into the rat race, which in my case has to be something better than rats, so lets call it a cat race… And with my brand new Canon Powershot A590IS which by the way was a gift from the US of A by my dear old friend Kalpesh (yeah buddy, the mention would have been incomplete without thanking you… so thank u very much for keeping the amateur photographer in me alive, that’s the best thing I could ever ask for :D) I couldn’t wait to start exploring the world around me…

Starting off with Bangalore… The best part of the trip for me was the dinner at Ebony. U guys have to go to this place and in the evening. And make sure u get a seat out on the terrace. The view of the city from the 13th floor of the building is awesome (Thank you very much Deep)

Next stop Shrirangapatna and Mysore. I was thrilled to be at the battle field where Tipu Sultan fought his last. And of course the Lord Vishnu temple. All I could think of was, “Oh God, please please please please make me pass the exam and I’ll be grateful to you forever.” Next was the Mahinshasur temple. Once again, “God, please please let me pass the exam.” After that, the Saint Joseph’s Cathedral. The same ‘church’ that you saw once upon a time in the movie ‘Amar Akbar Anthony’ “God, please have mercy, All I want is to pass. Please.”

Next stop home sweet home-Kolkata. It’s always nice to be back with the family, the cousins, grandparents, uncles and aunts, grand uncles and grand aunts, the maids, the neighbours, the street dogs… did I miss anyone out? Talking of missing, of course I miss my cousins a lot. There’s never a dull moment with you cousins around… I miss you guys a lot :(

Up next was a little hill station Ghatsila, Jharkhand. It’s for those who are tired of the same old Digha and the likes of it. On the way back we stopped by an ancient temple, 300 years old. Once again, “God, please let me pass in the exam.”

Next stop Guwahati, another one of my cousin’s place. Had fun, out all day at a beautiful mountain-top resort, Bramhaputra Jungle Resort with family and friends. Don’t go by its name, it was the most beautiful resort I’ve ever been to. Spend the whole day fishing, boating, pony-back riding, ropeway, etc. One other day I went to the Kamakhya temple and of course asked Kamakhya Ma to get me through the exam in one attempt and make my family proud.

Next up was the capital of the state of Meghalaya, Shillong. At 0 degree my tiny little brain was too frozen to think of anything else and the hill diarrhea attack didn’t make things easier for me. Otherwise it’s a beautiful place, a hill station and the teens there seem to be fun.

Back in Kolkata I tried to make the best of every holiday my cousins had. Been to the Victoria Memorial Hall and the place looks beautiful when you’re out on the lawn, sadly, the locals converted it into a lovers point. I guess that’s inevitable for every historical monument in this country and the huge population *Sigh* Moving on with my life… spent my days watching movies at Forum Mall, shopping at City Centre, munching on crispy chicken at KFC, visiting the Netaji Bhavan-that’s Subhash Chandra Bose’s House. Spent a lot of time out with family and my German resident friend Chirag (in case you’re reading this… Hi Buddy!)

Next trip Krishnanagar, my uncle’s place, about 200 or so km away from Kolkata (I maybe understating the figures here) I had fun playing with the pet dogs in the lawn. We also had a big puja in the in-house Tara Ma’s temple. I prayed really hard this time so that I clear the exam in one go and make everyone I know happy.

The date of the result was catching up with me as evident from the gradually vanishing joy on my face. Wanna know what happened next? Wait for my next post.

Journey to the TOP of the Earth - Part 1

It’s been a really long time since my last post. 8 months to be precise. And unless you are an ardent follower of my blog you wouldn’t have been wondering if I were accidentally eaten by a bear at the zoo or drowned during a white-water rafting mishap or the more likely- preparing for my exam of CA Final-Attempt no.1. I’ll continue to update you of my whereabouts any which ways.

To be honest, after the previous post I did come up with a couple or so more poems but they were a little too personal to be made public on a blog. Sorry my dear fans! :P And apart from that I haven’t really been upto much else except studies which was kind of the last thing on my mind as I mistook my study leave for a long term vacation ( Please excuse me here God.)

So 3 months into the “vacation” the seriousness of the mighty exam dawned upon me. But then I was ALMOST late. July went by with a bit of sincere studies. August brought my badi mausi home. September brought along Durga Puja, the most important festival in the otherwise vain year of any Bengali, the one time when all you wanna do is go shopping with all the money you have been saving for the rest of the year, get new clothes, accessories, shoes and of course jewellery and then show it off to the envious aunties and their daughters from your neighbourhood or compare, conspire and compete with your family and friends to earn the title of the Best Dressed One on the evening of Navami... all in the name of celebrations. So you see, there is no time to study.

October saw a host of guests at my place almost forcing me to pack my bags and run away from home. After all it’s October and I still haven’t completed costing, financial management and haven’t even touched income tax. Only a miracle can save me next month in the exam, the likelihood of which seems remote. I decided to follow what Lord Krishna said to Arjun before he went on to the battle i.e. the Bhagvad Geeta, “Karm kiye ja, fal ki chinta mat kar” and so I did.

Oh did I forget to mention the Diwali celebrations? Firecrackers et al even at 2am. Somebody go tell those pea-brains that a few other wise-cracking owls in the neighbourhood have CA exams after a week. And if those owls don’t get through the exam then those pea-brains won’t survive to celebrate the Republic Day. And don’t even get me started on the series of illnesses – Exam ke side effects! And as the date of the exam kept getting closer my appetite kept on diminishing. I lost 5kg in 2 weeks that too sitting at home. Bet you’re jealous now. Well, don’t be. Rather thank God that you’re not one of those unfortunate CA examinees.

Finally the D-day was there, the day of the 1^st paper. I was all set with my writing pad, pens, well cleaned spectacles to cover up my sunken eyes surrounded by pretty dark circles, shivering hands, a dizzy head and wobbly knees. And it’s not just us, even the mothers suffer from serious hypertension. After the 1^st paper I was almost shattered. That should give you an idea of how good the paper was. The 2^nd one wasn’t much different. The only bright side (if at all there can be one) was that after 2 papers I had managed to get the nervousness out of my system but only till the income tax paper. Once that was done I couldn’t wait for the last paper to finish and the 1^st thing I do is hit the closest movie hall to celebrate THE END OF TERROR and the beginning of my super-wonderful-travel-trip-filled vacation. Wanna know more about it then check out my Photo Albums on Orkut.com and make sure you’re on my friends list to get access to all 17 of my albums or wait for my next post… See ya!