Radio at 4am!

It was 4am in the morning and I was still wide awake for some reason... Been thinking of how to put myself to sleep. Its been a while since I stopped being an insomniac. Anyways I thought of listening to some music thinking it might soothe my brains and put me to sleep. So I turned on the radio and was surfing through the FM channels. You wont believe the amazing songs they play on the Radio Stations at such an hour. I bet you wont hear those numbers all day long on the very same stations. The one that caught my ears was Zara Zara from the Bollywood flick Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein (2001)

Here's the video of the song so that you know why its special :)






What did catch my attention was the second antara which goes like this...

Tadpaaye mujhe teri sabhi baatein
Ek baar ae deewane jhootha hi sahi pyaar to kar
Main bhooli nahin haseen mulaaqaatein
Bechain karke mujhko mujhse yun na pher nazar
Roothega na mujhse, mere saathiya yeh vaada kar
Tere bina mushkil hai jeena mera mere dilbar

For those who don't understand Hindi, roughly translated it means,

Everything you say makes me pine;
Crazy guy, false or true, just love me once!
I haven't forgotten our beautiful meetings.
Having made me restless, don't avert your gaze like that.
Promise me, my companion, you won't quarrel with me.
Without you, living would be impossible, my love.

Yeah I know it sounds all romantic, achy, maybe also clingy (which m afraid of)...
Anyways don't go looking for deeper meanings. It's just a song in the end. So listen to it and enjoy the music :)

Dreams

They say 'if you love someone, set them free. If they come back they are yours. If they don’t, they were never yours...' Who ever made this phrase popular were fooling around with love.

I can tell you this is not the right test for love! Sometimes they do come back but still don’t belong to you. Have you ever thought what that would mean? Ever wondered why they are doing this to you? Kill you not once but again n again…

You think it’s easy to let them go, you try to be brave but you know deep inside that its all just fake feelings you are trying to portray. You think you can get through the pain, the heartache, that you can forget them and move on and at that very moment you see them standing in front of you. You forget all the pretense of the bravery you have been putting up because u feel that you will never have to go through it now but the very next day they are set to leave you again and you realize how stupid you were to believe in them and all your dreams. Dreams, that’s what they were and will always be. And just when you try to calm yourself they come back to leave again…

Do you know why this happens to you? If you have the answer please be kind enough to tell me too.

You don’t deserve me.

One of the most painful things in life is losing what u fear losing the most, isn’t it? Ever loved and lost? You may understand what I’m trying to convey. This one is my fourth poem and possibly the last one from me.

You don’t deserve me.

You deserve to hold an umbrella
When the sky decides to pour,
As I get drenched for hours in the rain,
Maybe three, maybe four.

The way you had me drowning
In the aura of your charm,
All I wanted to do was
Run to you and grab hold of your arm.

Never wanted to let you go,
Didn’t wanna go through this pain,
Miss those cozy arms around me
In this freezing rain.

All I ever wanted
Was to see your smiling face,
You should stay away from me,
I’m such a big disgrace.

Those dreams, those moments
Those feelings, those desires,
Now I know weren’t meant for me,
Time to chuck them into the fire.

I wish all the happiness in this world
Is created to kiss you,
I deserve to stay in the dark
And continue to miss you.

I’m trying hard to forget,
Trying not to think,
But the harder I try,
The deeper I sink.

I’m sorry I hurt you so bad,
Turned into reality that used to be your fears,
No matter what I do or say now,
I know I deserve these tears.

I’ve touched love, so pure
It used to make me high
Never thought I’d have to let it go,
Would have to say good-bye.

Don’t wanna let you go yet,
But the wrongs I can’t deny,
Hurts too much to listen to your voice,
So I sit by my window and cry.

You have the right to refuse,
Even if I say please,
Even if I beg you not to,
You have the right to leave.

You deserve true love,
One that lasts forever,
All I can do is assure you,
I’ll cross your path never.

I pray they hold your hand forever,
Walk along with you,
And I’ll be the star that falls
To make your dearest wish come true.

-Chandra Sen