I miss you

So far if you have read my blog you know how good or bad I am at writing prose. Thanks to someone’s who forced me to do this today will be the first time you get to witness my poetic talents too. I never knew I could rhyme words and make sense but let’s see how you like my first ever try at the job. Please be honest and be generous with a beginner and someone who’s still worse than an amateur. Anyways the most important point is that I'm happy with it.

I'm calling this poem "I miss you"
So here it goes...


I’m lying in my bed,
I’m staring at the ceiling,
So many thoughts...
What is this I’m feeling?

I keep on staring,
But there’s nothing I see.
Is this really love
Or is it just me?

I wish I could see u,
Feel u next to me,
But, afraid I am.
Will there ever be a 'WE'?

All I have is just today,
And there maybe no tomorrow,
But I’m ready to take the risk,
I’m ready to face the sorrow.

All I need right now
Is to be with you
I really, really miss you
And I know that's true.

It’s not easy to walk together,
Together we can figure how.
Let’s forget what's uncertain,
Will u be mine for now?

-Chandra Sen.

Right or Wrong?

I’m sure, not once but many a times in your life you must have faced a situation where you didn’t know whether to do something or not. It’s more or less like your hearts begging you to go ahead but your brain/conscience is not giving you the green signal. All your heart cares about is the possible moment of happiness but your over-smart brain just doesn’t want you to be happy and keeps reasoning with you that it would be unacceptable to the anyways useless society and its age-old morals. Don’t worry. It’s probably just jealous of your heart. After all it’s the brain whose primary job is to think but you want to listen to your heart who always keeps messing with your brain.

So now what do you do in this situation? Who do you listen to? Listen to your brain, ‘coz, after all, it’s always right and will always keep troubles at bay? But your heart keeps behaving like a child, “I want chocolates, I want chocolates, I want chocolates…” that’s all it says and you know it wont stop till it gets the chocolates and if you don’t give the chocolates to it, its going to cry n make you feel sad about it.

So what should you do? Make the kid happy or listen to the wise guy?

I’m thinking of making the kid happy by giving it what it wants. Unless I take risks I won’t have any gains. Just like Bryan Uncle once said, “Well, it maybe wrong but baby, it sure feels right.” So be it. What’s the point of having principles that keep you away from what makes you happy? Even if it’s just momentary. I’m just going to ask the wise guy to muster courage and face the consequences when they arise. After all he’s the intelligent one and not the kid.

Besides you know what they say. “When you don’t know whether to do something or something or not, JUST DO IT (yeah, Nike got something right). When you get old and look back at your life, you wont regret the things you have done as much as the things you never did”

Love Actually

Love, that’s probably the most complicated thing to describe. I bet even Einstein and Newton would have failed on the subject of love. It’s like summer rains, you never know when it’s gonna pay you a visit and by the time you start to enjoy the touch of the tiny droplets against your cheeks, it’s gone. Of course nothing lasts forever but wouldn’t it be great if you could defy that rule?

I’m sure you all have seen the movie Love Actually and half of you would be claiming it as the best film you have ever seen. Well, count me in. Was watching it for the umpteenth time yesterday, yet, every time I watch it, the movie has its own way of turning me into a deeper shade of blue. Reminds me of all that I have lost and found in my life…

Lost a lot of friends, not because I couldn’t get along with them, but our individual careers made us go separate ways. Sometimes I wonder if it’s really worth the sacrifice. So much so that now I don’t even know how and where they are… I’ve lost best friends, not because of career, but just that we couldn’t get along which sounds ironic because unless we got along in the first place we wouldn’t have been best friends. I’ve lost love, which is painful, yes, but I won’t hype it like our stupid Bollywood movies. But, yes, it is more than worth the mention. I know there’s nothing better in this world than the feeling of being in love. And I believe it’s not the fact that there’s someone who loves you but the fact that you have someone to love. There’s nothing that can be more fulfilling. To the world, you can be a very strong person, but when you are with them it’s totally different. Just one hug from that special someone can completely melt you down and make you feel vulnerable and the same hug can make you feel like nothing in the world can hurt you because they will protect you.

But that’s not all that love is about. It’s also about giving wings to the one you love and allow them to fly, high. So that at the end of the day when they come back to you, you know that they are going to stay forever. And if they don’t, try to be glad that at least one of you is happy.

So whenever I watch Love Actually, it transports me back to those old times and reminds me of all that I’ve been through, I see all these past years floating in front of my eyes. But at the same time I tell myself it’s not the end of the world. There is still a lot of love left amidst the hatred splashed across the morning newspaper everyday. And all that you have to do is stretch out your hands and grab hold of it. You don’t know what’s in store for you tomorrow. So make the most of what you have today. Screw consequences. Listen to the song “kholo kholo” from Taare Zameen Par - “…Dil khush jahan, teri toh Manzil hai wahin!” :-)

Losing what I love the most…

What a day! Losing what was most precious to me…

Its only 10:00am and my day is only getting started. And I’m not precognitious. So obviously I’m not talking about today. So if you’re bright enough you may have guessed it right that I’m talking about yesterday.

So yesterday was the most saddening day for me in months. Lost the one thing that I can’t live without… No, I’m not talking about my boyfriend. I’m a Taurean so think materialistic. Lost my 2GB memory card, read 2GB of my fav’est music. Well my freaking phone just won’t read it. Don’t know if I should blame my precious little memory card or my sweetheart phone. After all what good is a Walkman phone sans music. I’m sure all you Sony Ericsson lovers know what I mean. As for you Nokia Express Music or whatever lovers, I just feel sorry for your make believe great music life. Although right now you can consider yourselves more fortunate than me. As for those of you who belong to neither of the above 2 genres, well I’m not going to honour you by making a mention in this post because it’s dedicated music which obviously doesn’t flow in your blood.

Anyways I was talking about my sad little yesterday… You must be thinking what’s the big deal? If it’s the phone, just take it the service centre and they’ll fix it, then let me enlighten you, my phones over a year old so outside the purview of warranty and besides I don’t have the time to got to the service centre with my 7 days a week hectic schedule. Could you lend a helping hand there? And if you think it’s just the card, get a new one. Can you lend a helping hand there too? Well I can’t quite afford it right now.

So friends and family of you are reading this you know now what to get me for my birthday, a new phone, preferably another Sony Ericsson Walkman phone, with a 4GB memory card, I can get an upgrade right? No? Alright 2GB then? No? Okay 1GB? And please don’t say no now. You don’t want me to die without all my fav music now do you? And you better not say yes now. By the way, my birthday is 5 months away and I’ll actually die without music on the go by then. So how about gifting it to me on some earlier occasion, say on your birthday as a special return gift to me or maybe on Valentines’ day or even Holi… Well I never promised I wont burn a hole in your pockets :-P

Anyways I think I’ve bugged you enough for the day and also given you a reason to hide from me from now on and yes, and if your deciding not to then I’m still serious about you lending me a generous helping hand :-P

Catching up!

You must be under the impression that I have given up on my blog since I haven’t updated it in over a month now. Well I too was thinking on the similar grounds. Since no one reads this piece of crap why bother wasting time writing stuff that’s never gonna be appreciated or in the least read. Besides sometimes it is not easy to think of something to write about. I guess you can say this is a part of living in a busy city. After all its not parties that keep you busy it’s the work and commuting from one end of the city to the other twice a day that actually takes up your time. And days just go by you and you never know what your missing till its too late and one day you just wake up and realize you have lost your old buddies because you don’t know where they are as you haven’t been keeping in touch with them. Which makes me wonder right now why am I spending my precious time writing this blog instead of calling up those sweet old friends of mine :-) now that’s what you cal a new years resolution-catch up with old friends!

When you have nothing to do...

Yeah, these words pretty much sum up my activities for the last three weeks or more. Well you see when you are down with an illness like jaundice you don't have too many things to keep you busy at home all day long. All that you are capable of doing is sleep all day or rent out DVDs or paint your toe nails then wipe it off with a nail paint remover and then re-paint them or scrap random people on orkut or fill up one's blog with utter crap 'cause after all your brain has not been fed and then thank people who actually manage to read it ( of course, with due respect to YOU ) and eat absolutely nothing. No wonder one gets weak.

Anyways its been like a month now and I am running out of things to do that don't require any energy spending coz believe me one month of no fats, no proteins doesn't exactly spell He-man and studies is like the last thing on my mind right now. Although looking at the bright side I am glad I got this nice long vacation which comes to an end with the end of this month. Well deserved, but somehow I'm not happy that I'm getting well now.

Oh I'm going to miss waking up at 10:00 in the morning, watching downloaded old episodes of CSI for breakfast, watching some funny movie for lunch and orkutting all evening and then watching a nice scary movie for dinner and not retiring till 02:00 in the morning... Long live cellphones! I bet you feel jealous of me now but hey don't be. When you get jaundice and are this ill I'll envy you then and hey look at the bright side, there are still millions of people in this city who will never know what its like to have time to do nothing!

Love, friendship, etc.

Translated into our National lingo, that becomes Dil, Dosti, etc. Yeah I know , you probably think what kind of a girl am I to watch such a creepy movie. But before you think so, let me tell you it wasn't my idea. I know there are plenty of other good movies that I'd rather watch than that stupid little movie that claims to depict the life of a teenager in college.
What nonsense! I was a teenager too. In fact from a college where studies are considered as secondary aka Mithibai College. Yeah which is why you will find at least 10% of my college and classmates are celebrities. Right from those pathetic so called talent hunt participants and the hosts to the biggies like Kareena Kapoor. And our vain professors think we would believe them when they say that Kareena was a more sincere student than us. Yeah right.
Anyways I was talking about the movie and honestly there is nothing to say except you are lucky if you gave it a miss. And for those who are still curious take my word "Stay Away." This is like another one of those sermons I issue in public interest.